March 10: Women and Girls and HIV/AIDS, Oh My!

National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day is observed specifically on March 10 every year, and it is coordinated by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' Office on Women's Health (OWH). OWH encourages organizations to hold events throughout the entire month of March.

National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day is a nationwide observance that encourages people to take action in the fight against HIV/AIDS and raise awareness of its impact on women and girls.

According to the CDC, HIV/AIDS is a serious public health issue affecting nearly 280,000 women in the United States. While men account for most HIV/AIDS cases, the impact on women is growing. In addition, research shows that, when compared to men, women face gaps in access and care.

For a handy fact sheet, go here:

National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day Fact Sheet (PDF, 434 KB)

(The new healthcare law, the Affordable Care Act, will prohibit insurance plans from putting lifetime caps on the dollar amount that they will spend on benefits. In the past, patients with HIV/AIDS, cancer, or other chronic diseases ran the risk of hitting a lifetime cap and losing access to care. The law also restricts most insurance companies' use of low annual dollar limits on benefits. In 2014, annual limits will be eliminated. In addition, the Affordable Care Act will help those living with HIV/AIDS be better able to afford their medications.)

The Affordable Care Act and National HIV/AIDS Strategy are two important steps in the fight against HIV/AIDS, but HIV/AIDS is an issue that affects all people, and we each need to do our part ot make a positive difference. On National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, OWH calls on individuals and organizations across the country to take action and bring attention to the impact HIV/AIDS has on women and girls.

It helps organizations across the country come together to offer support, encourage discussion, and teach women and girls about prevention of HIV, the importance of getting tested for HIV, and how to live with and manage HIV/AIDS.

Education is key to making a difference with the disease, but action items that people can do in response to HIV/AIDS are most empowering. Some ideas include:

• Get tested for HIV, and encourage your friends to do so. If you can, offer incentives for people to get tested.
  
• Encourage your newspaper or schools to sponsor an essay contest on the epidemic.
• Submit an editorial or letter on local needs to your newspaper.
• Encourage radio stations to air public service announcements.
• Learn about the risk factors for acquiring HIV, and talk about them.
• Make the choice to practice safer sex and avoid higher risk behaviors.
  
• Talk about HIV prevention with family, friends, and colleagues.
• Tell people about why this day is important to you and people you know.
• Talk about the epidemic’s impact on your community with friends and family.
• Provide support to people living with HIV/AIDS.
• Volunteer at a local organization that serves people living with HIV.
• Help fund an event for the Day or support it with in-kind donations.

Visit AIDS.gov for more information from the federal government about HIV/AIDS prevention, testing, treatment, research, and using new media in response to HIV/AIDS.

Valentiny Activism

GetEQUAL and Marriage Equality USA are staging protests across the country to show the inequality in our nation's marriage laws.

"Over the weekend and this afternoon, LGBT activists across the country took action at marriage counters and city halls across the country, drawing attention to the fact that loving couples – some of whom have been together for decades – are still living as second-class citizens without the right to marry."

One of those protests is occurring right here in Asheville, NC.

“Today, we're so proud of all the people taking actions across the country,” said Robin McGehee, director of GetEQUAL. “We're thrilled with how many people across the country have decided that enough is enough, and have committed to organizing in their own communities in order to draw attention to their desire to marry the person they love.”

Molly McKay, media director of Marriage Equality USA, said, “The actions that have taken place across the country are just one more way that we are bringing discrimination out of the shadows and into the light, highlighting the loving relationships that are thriving throughout the country despite government-sanctioned discrimination.”

GetEQUAL will be posting photos and video on its Facebook page throughout the day.

2011 Is So Gay!

Every year, there are a variety of events, activities, and observances that are relevant to the LGBT community. It's difficult to get a comprehensive list, but here is a good start on upcoming days of observance to be aware of.

Truly, 2011 is so gay. As is every year!

Please feel free to leave a comment on other LGBT day or observance/holidays (holigays :) ) that you think should be added.

January

February

• National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day - Feb 7
• Feb 15 - TENTATIVE SAVE THE DATE! Equality NC Day Of Action in Raleigh (lobby day)
  

March

• National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day - Mar 10

April

• TransAction Day - Apr 8 in 2010
• Day of Silence - Apr 16

May

• National Foster Care Month - May
• The International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia (IDAHO) - May 17
• Harvey Milk Day - May 22

June

• LGBT Pride Month - Jun
• Gay Days at Walt Disney World: the first week in Jun
• National HIV/AIDS Testing Day - Jun 27
• Stonewall Anniversary - Jun 30

July

August

September

• Celebrate Bisexuality Day - Sep 23
• National Gay Men's HIV/AIDS Awareness Day - Sep 27
• NC Pride - around last weekend in Sep
  

October

• GLBT History Month - Oct
• National Coming Out Day - Oct 11
• Ally Week - around Oct 18-22

November

• National Adoption Awareness Month - Nov
• Equality NC Equality Conference & Gala - mid Nov (date, location pending)
  
• National Adoption Day is celebrated the Saturday before Thanksgiving
• National Transgender Day of Remembrance - Nov 20

December

• World AIDS Day - Dec 1

Don't Forget! Transgender Day of Remembrance

This Saturday, November 20, is the Transgender Day of Remembrance. Equality NC's Transgender Policy Task Force and the LGBT Center of Raleigh will hold a candlelight vigil in downtown Raleigh to recognize the 12th annual Transgender Day of Remembrance.

TDOR was set aside to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. The event is held in November to honor Rita Hester, whose murder on November 28th, 1998 kicked off the Remembering Our Dead web project and a San Francisco candlelight vigil in 1999. Rita Hester’s murder — like most anti-trans murder cases — has yet to be solved.

Although not every person represented during the Day of Remembrance self-identified as trans (that is, as a transsexual, crossdresser, or otherwise gender-variant), each was a victim of violence based on bias against transgendered people.

The purpose of the day is to raise public awareness of hate crimes against transgender people. Transgender Day of Remembrance publicly mourns and honors the lives of transgender people who might otherwise be forgotten. TDOR gives transgender people and their allies a chance to step forward and stand in vigil, showing love, respect, and solidarity, and memorializing those who’ve died by anti-transgender violence.

Transgender Day of Remembrance can be used to educate students, teachers, and administrators about transgender issues, so we can try to prevent anti-transgender hatred and violence from continuing.

Ways you can observe TDOR include:

• Candlelight vigils and/or marches
• Discussion forums with activists, politicians, and/or school officials
• Performance art
• Poetry or spoken word readings
• Visual representation of the number of deaths with:

• Cardboard tombstones of Remembered People
• Paper cutouts of Remembered People
• Chalk body outlines of Remembered People
  

• Teach-Ins and Speakers Bureaus
• Art/photo displays
• Trans movie screenings (such as “Boys Don’t Cry”)
• Trans 101 trainings

As with any awareness-raising day, it's not an end unto itself. TDOR is a tool towards the ultimate goal of the elimination of bigotry and prejudice against transfolks. It's important to use this day as a starting point for discussion and education. The work of TDOR can be continued by:
• Working to add “gender identity and gender expression” to laws and school antibullying policies
• Having a Trans 101 training for workers and educators
• Working to have some restrooms designated as gender neutral
• Collaborating with others on trans issues and teaching them how to be trans allies

For more information, go to the International TDOR website or the Gay-Straight Alliances Facebook Page. For a list of related sites and resources, go to this page from the Remembering Our Dead site.

Act Now! We've Got Spirit, Yes We Do: Spirit Day, 10/20

Wear Purple on October 20 for Spirit Day

Equality NC is happy to support Spirit Day on October 20 to support LGBT youth and remember those who have committed suicide because of bullying.

How can you help?

1. Wear purple on October 20!
2. Click here to turn your Twitter profile pic purple now through October 20
3. Click here to turn your Facebook profile pic purple now through October 20 - then click on the new photo and click "Make Profile Pic"
4. On Wednesday, post this tweet: I'm wearing purple to end anti-LGBT bullying - make your profile pic purple today #SpiritDay http://glaad.org/spiritday
5. On Wednesday, post this Facebook status: I'm wearing purple today to support LGBT youth - make your profile pic purple today for Spirit Day at http://glaad.org/spiritday
6. Help promote by downloading this graphic for your blog or website

On Twitter? Use the hashtag #SpiritDay in your tweets - let's make #SpiritDay a trending topic!

What is Spirit Day?

The idea behind Spirit Day, first created by teenager Brittany McMillan earlier this month, is a simple one, not dissimilar to the idea of "Spirit Week" held in many high schools, and can be summed up in three words: Everyone Rally Together.

Spirit Day honors the teenagers who had taken their own lives in recent weeks. But just as importantly, it's also a way to show the hundreds of thousands of LGBT youth who face the same pressures and bullying, that there is a vast community of people who support them.

Purple symbolizes 'spirit' on the rainbow flag, a symbol for LGBT Pride that was created by Gilbert Baker in 1978.

As one of the event's Facebook pages says: "This event is not a seminar nor is it a rally. There is NO meeting place. All you have to do is wear purple."

Wearing purple on October 20 is a simple way to show the world that you stand by these courageous young people and a simple way to stand UP to the bullies. Remember those lives we've tragically lost, and show your solidarity with those who are still fighting. 'Go Purple' today!

Please RSVP to these events on Facebook: "R.I.P. ;; In memory of the recent suicides due to gay abuse, wear purple" and Spirit Day, A GLOBAL Day of remembering.

Are You in Need of Immediate Help?

LGBT youth in need of immediate help should contact The Trevor Project 's 24/7 Lifeline at 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386) or The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

or more information, read GLAAD's blog post about GLAAD's work with Facebook on Spirit Day...

Watch this CNN video about Facebook working with GLAAD to fight anti-LGBT hateful speech:

Turn your profile pic purple now.

It's That Time Again: Ally Week!

Next week is all about the straight folks, or at least the ones that support us gay folks. (OK, it's also about the gay folks who support the other gay folks. It's about all of us!)

GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network) is sponsoring Ally Week.

Allies generally are non-LGBT people who are committed to ending bias and discrimination against LGBT people, but the term ally is more inclusive (particularly within the Safe Schools Movement) and can refer to anyone who supports ending anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying, and harassment in schools. For example, a bisexual adult can be an ally to LGBT students, and a lesbian student can be an ally to a transgender student.

During Ally Week, people are encouraged to take the ally pledge:

"I believe all students, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression deserve to feel safe and supported.

That means I pledge to:

• Not use anti-LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) language or slurs.
• Intervene, if I safely can, in situations where students are being harassed.
• Support efforts to end bullying and harassment."

This is one of the several easy things that you can do to take action.

Students are encouraged to sign up for specific events and activities on the website. You can also connect virtually through Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter.

On the website, you can download ally pledge cards and stickers, as well as order posters, t-shirts, and other promo materials. You can read and submit ally stories online, and you can learn about local and student organizing.

Ally Week is just one part in a larger program to create safe schools for all students and ultimately create a safe environment for all (including LGBT) people.

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are! National Coming Out Day.

October 11 is National Coming Out Day when people of all sexual orientations are encouraged to come out and live openly.

(Obviously this has more significance for LGBT folks, but straight allies are included in this. Sometimes in predominantly gay situations it can be difficult for straight folks to admit to being not gay. The whole point is one of acceptance for everyone and acknowledgment of our diversity.)

(And Ally Week is coming up, Oct 18-22, BTW!)

While being gay doesn't have quite the stigma it used to, there still isn't true acceptance and equality. And considering how hard it can be to be gay today, it's that much harder to be bi, or trans, or even LGBT within another minority group like people of color. It can be hard to be unsure and questioning, wondering about your sexuality.

Coming out is a process, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. It's a wholly personal thing, and it can be a lifelong process. It's also a continuum - you may be out to your family, but you may be closeted at work, or at the gym, or at your kid's school, or standing in line at the bank.

The most important thing is to take a step today, in a conscious way. Do something that feels safe to you, but still do something to come or be out of the closet, or even just give some more visibility to all or part of the community. You can talk about your partner, the gay contestant on a reality show, the HIV/AIDS epidemic, your going to Pride, your BDSM leather club, or whatever!

Sexual orientation and gender identity are aspects of who we are, but they do not completely define us. Still, the only way to make progress is to be honest - prejudice and bigotry are based in ignorance, and the more of that we can take away, the less discrimination there will be.

Coming Out Day is actually celebrated internationally. In the US, HRC provides many resources and activities. Here's a handy map for organized events:

View these events on a larger map »

And here are some resources:

• A Resource Guide to Coming Out
• A Straight Guide to GLBT Americans
• Coming Out as Transgender
• Resource Guide to Coming Out for African Americans
• Guía de Recursos Para Salir Del Clóset
• Living Openly in Your Place of Worship

Whoever you are, wherever you are, come out!

GLBT History Month 2010

During October 2010, Equality Forum is sponsoring the 5th annual LGBT History Month.

Beginning October 1, a GLBT Icon will be presented daily, with a video, bio, bibliography, downloadable images, and other resources – all provided for free. The 124 Icons with resources for 2006 – 2009 are also archived on the site. For five years, since 2006, Equality Forum has provided videos, bios, bibliographies, downloadable images, and other resources for 31 GLBT History Month Icons each October.

“Equality Forum offers a free GLBT History Month link to organizations, educational institutions, workplace groups, and the public,” stated Malcolm Lazin, executive director of the Equality Forum.

The 31 Icon videos can be embedded without charge on Web sites, blogs or social networking pages by following the instructions on the site. Once embedded, the video player will automatically update the daily Icon video.

GLBT History Month posters, Icon lists, graphically-designed Icon bios, and images can be downloaded or printed by clicking on “Resources.” These resources can be used to make a GLBT History Month Exhibit. Equality Forum and GLSEN are sponsoring a GLBT History Month Exhibit Contest for high school GSAs.

“This month is an opportunity for schools to acknowledge and celebrate the positive contributions of LGBT people whose identities are absent from history books. Gay-Straight Alliances across the country look forward to this month every year as a way to introduce positive LGBT role models to their members and classmates,” said Eliza Byard, Executive Director, GLSEN.

The U.S. Department of Education will recognize October as LGBT History Month, with U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan providing welcoming remarks at the Department's first LGBT History Month event.

"For a community deprived of its history, GLBT History Month teaches heritage, provides role models, builds community, and recognizes extraordinary national and international contributions," said Ora Alger, LGBTA Employees President, U.S. Department of Education.

(Starting in 2011, GLBT History Month will be renamed LGBT History Month. Information for GLBT History Month 2010 can currently be accessed at www.glbtHistoryMonth.com or www.lgbtHistoryMonth.com.)

Bi, Bi, Bi! Encourage Visi-Bi-lity By Celebrating Bisexuality Day!

Thursday, Sept. 23 (and events the following weekend) will mark the 19th annual Celebrate Bisexuality Day (CBD).

Supporters and friends are encouraged to use this occasion to celebrate with activities to encouarge visi-Bi-lity and show their pride while fundraising for national, regional, and local bi/pan/fluid organizations.

Did you know there's a bi pride flag? It's true! You can see it in the picture, and find our more about its history here. The pink color represents sexual attraction to the same-sex (gay and lesbian), blue represents sexual attraction to the opposite-sex (straight), and the resultant overlap color purple represents sexual attraction to both sexes (bi).

Bisexuality is often unfairly dismissed in the gay community as an interim label (sort of a midway point used by people who are in the process of coming out as simply gay but too scared to entirely give up the relative safety of self-identifying as straight). It's not, and it's importance for us to realize this.

While gay visibility has increased over time, bisexuality has remained fairly invisible - people tend to automatically label a couple as either straight or gay depending upon the perceived gender of the people involved. It's easy, but it's not always accurate (as we all know!).

Bisexuality is, of course, quite real, and is simply an attraction to others regardless of gender. Increasingly, though, bi-folks also self-identify as "fluid," "omnisexual," "pansexual," or eschew labels completely (let's call them "free-identifiers" :-) ).

CBD was created as a response to the marginalization of bisexual people by others in both straight and gay communities.

Here are some useful resources for finding out more about our bi brethren and sistren:

• BiNet USA
• BiNet USA on Twitter
• BiNet USA's Facebook Group
• Find Bisexual Groups in America
• American Institute of Bisexuality (AIB)
• Bisexual Resource Center (BRC)
• Bi Magazine

Let's take this opportunity to celebrate and affirm the diversity of identity and expression of all LGBT folks, family, and friends, regardless of labels.

Being Heard

Thanks to Equality NC supporter and volunteer, Tim, for this personal experience.

"I want to relate a recent success story for equality here in North Carolina.

It happened last Tuesday as a result of NOM's marriage discrimination tour stop in Raleigh. That evening I was watching News Channel 14, the Time Warner Cable 24 hours news channel, and they had a "teaser" for the upcoming coverage of the event. I left the channel on in order to see the news coverage.

Overall the news coverage was both fair and positive. The reporter highlighted the fact that there were more than double the number of pro-equality supporters at the event as there were people supporting NOM's anti-equality position.

But, the reporter used the terms "homosexual marriage" and "homosexuals" during the coverage instead of the acceptable terms of "marriage equality," "same-sex marriage," "LGBT," or "gays and lesbians." I was offended by this, so I took action. I immediately contacted News Channel 14 by email through their web site. I asked them to please stop using the offensive language, explained why the language was offensive, explained what terms were acceptable, and referred them to the AP Style Guide for further advice.

News Channel 14 responded positively to me within an hour. They apologized to me, explained that they knew it was wrong, said that it was against their existing policy and was a mistake, said they were already in the process of correcting it, and said they planned to use the incident as a "teachable moment" for their entire staff.

News Channel 14 did the right thing. In fact they thanked me for bringing the issue to their attention and did everything they could to make corrections as swiftly as possible and take the appropriate steps to stop this from happening in the future. I made sure to thank them for their positive response as well.

Moral of the story? One person can make a difference. You just have to believe you can and make the effort."


Thanks to Tim for taking the time and effort to do this and for telling the tale. One person's efforts can result in a positive change that's seen by hundreds or thousands. There's no telling how far-reaching a single positive action will be.

(If something about reporting on an equality issue or LGBT-related story catches your attention, in addition to the standard AP Style Guide, GLAAD has a great Media Reference Guide for gay-positive and affirming language standards, and the Movement Advancement Project offers guides on talking about all kinds of LGBT issues, including relationship recognition and marriage.)

Is It Time To Take Back Pride?

(Thanks to ENC Communication Intern Matthew McGibney.)

As we approach the 40^th anniversary of the first Gay Liberation Day March, one group is questioning the character of current Pride events. Take Back Pride is a New York City-based organization that thinks Pride should focus on activism and protesting and not just be a big street party.

As the group’s website says, “It’s time for us all to remember this is a march, not a parade.”

This raises an interesting question. What is the correct role of Pride? Is it a celebration of the LGBT community, or is it an opportunity to highlight and object to the continued injustices facing LGBT individuals? Is it a little bit of both?

According to the group’s website, the purpose of Take Back Pride is to remind the world that “we are not content with what we have.” It points out several areas where equality is not yet achieved, including Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and marriage equality. Equality NC deals with many issues at the state level, issues like workplace non-discrimination and HIV/AIDS funding.

Take Back Pride would like to see more people at Pride events addressing these problems, through chants and signs.

In the end, Pride is both about celebrating past successes and working towards future victories. Many of the developments that we’ve seen in the 40 years since that first march must have seemed impossible at the time. Still, there are plenty of injustices that continue to this day. By educating people, Pride participants can act as agents of change while still having a great time.

Pride can maintain its Mardi Gras atmosphere while also promoting education and acceptance. There’s no reason we can’t have both.

ACT NOW: Call on NBC to Open Today Show Wedding Contest! Marriage Equality and Family Fairness

UPDATE, 7/9/10 - Today Show reverses course, opens contest to LGBT couples. SUCCESS! Thanks to everyone who acted!


(Thanks to ENC Communication Intern Matthew McGibney.)

The “Modern Day Wedding Contest” on NBC’s Today Show wants to throw the perfect wedding for a pair of contestants … as long as the couple is straight. Not very modern! (Especially when you consider that the Today Show welcomed gay couples in their past “Hometown Wedding Contest.”)

The Today Show is accepting applications for its contest until this Friday, July 9. The winning couple’s wedding will be broadcast live in October, and their honeymoon will be paid for by the show. That sounds like a ton of fun, but it’s only for people who can enter “bride” and “groom” separately on the website.

Good As You noticed this quirk and brought it to the attention of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD). When GLAAD contacted the show for an explanation, they got this response:

“For the TODAY show wedding, the couple must be able to be legally married in New York, which is where the wedding will take place."

As you might have realized, New York hasn't established marriage equality. But as GLAAD points out, the show is looking to award a wedding ceremony, not a marriage certificate. New York State recognizes marriage certificates from other states, including those with equal marriage laws.

Here is the problem in The Today Show's reasoning in GLAAD’s own words:

“NBC is mistakenly equating the marriage license with the wedding celebration. Same-sex weddings are entirely legal in New York State. As long as the marriage license is conferred upon the same-sex couple by another state, New York State recognizes the marriage as a fully valid and legal one. NBC’s exclusion of same-sex couples from its contest is not motivated by the law, but bias against these couples.”

GLAAD started an action campaign against the show’s actions. You can find more information on the campaign here: http://www.glaad.org/2010/calltoaction/todayshow

Back here in North Carolina, Equality NC is gearing up to counter the myths spun by the Summer Marriage Inequality Tour (as we’ve taken to calling it) by the National Organization for Marriage, whom you might remember for their role in the passage of Prop 8 in California. The tour, which pushes for heterosexual-only marriage, will pass through Raleigh in August.

We’ll be starting a blog this summer with stories from LGBT and allied couples about their marriages, relationships, and families. Bigotry is based on ignorance, and by sharing the stories of our families, both biological and of-choice, we can show the reality of diversity and starkly show the unfairness of discrimination and how it affects us, our loved ones, and our children.

If you have a story about your family or relationship, we very much encourage you to share it with us. There are two ways you can do this:

1. You can write your story and e-mail it to matthew@equalitync.org. Include a photo of your family, too!

2. You can record a video (with your webcam or video camera), upload it to YouTube, and then e-mail us the link. Or if you prefer, you can skip the uploading and e-mail us the video file and we'll upload it for you.

Stay tuned for more ....

International Football - No, Not That One, Or Even That Other One: Rugby!

Though the World Cup soccer tournament has captured most folks' attention, the US recently hosted another international sporting event: the Bingham Cup tournament. This is the international competition for gay ruggers. The competition was held in Minneapolis near the end of June.

(In Europe, 'football' is the term used for soccer, because soccer is so popular there it gets the more generic name. In America, 'football' refers to American Football, so 'soccer,' which is short for 'association football,' is used. 'Rugby' is the universal term for 'rugby football.')

The Bingham Cup is a biannual international, non-professional, gay rugby union tournament, first convened in 2002. The tournament was named after Mark Bingham, a former University of California, Berkeley, rugby player. Mark Bingham died in the September 11, 2001 attacks on board United Airlines Flight 93.

North Carolina sports a few rugby teams, and has even had players go to the Bingham Cup.

This year in Minneapolis, the Mayhem Rugby Football Club (RFC) hosted the tournament.

The Bingham Cup was first hosted by the San Francisco Fog RFC, Mark Bingham’s home team. That year, eight teams traveled to California to compete over two days with Fog RFC coming out on top as the tournament’s first winners. With each of the following tournaments, The Bingham Cup has become progressively bigger and better.

The Bingham Cup tournament has been hosted by Fog RFC (San Francisco), King’s Cross Steelers RFC (London), Gotham Knights RFC (New York), Emerald Warriors RFC (Dublin), and now

Winners from this year's competition were:

• Cup Division – New York Gotham Knights RFC (A)
• Plate Division – Los Angeles Rebellion RFC
• Bowl Division – Sydney Convicts RFC (B)
• Shield Division – Ireland Emerald Warriors RFC
• Crest Division – Phoenix Storm RFC

Here're a few pictures from the competition, as well as a brief introduction to rugby vocabulary:

A scrum:









A tackle:











A line out:
















A couple of group shots:




















A couple of action shots:
























Rugby culture is generally very gay-friendly. Rugby is incredibly butch and it's incredibly gay, in ways that overlap and in ways that are totally different. If you've always wanted to play sports but have been worried about homophobia, rugby is the way to go. Even putatively straight rugby teams are gay-positive.

Rugby is a great kind of gateway sport for the inclusion and openness of gay athletes.

What the activist saw ...

... at last night's LGBT Pride Month reception in the White House. Equality NC's Executive Director Ian Palmquist was in attendance.

You can watch the video here at the White House's website.

Here's the text:

THE PRESIDENT: Hello, hello, hello! (Applause.) Hello, everybody! (Applause.) I was going to say welcome to the White House -- but you guys seem like you feel right at home. (Laughter.) You don't need me to tell you -- it’s the people’s house.

A couple of acknowledgements that I want to make very quickly -- first of all, our Director of the Office of Personnel Management, who has just done an extraordinary job across the government -- give John Berry a big round of applause. (Applause.)

AUDIENCE MEMBER: All right, John.

THE PRESIDENT: All right, John! (Laughter.)

Our chair of the Export/Import Bank, helping to bring jobs here to the United States of America -- Fred Hochberg. (Applause.) Our chair of the Council on Environmental Quality, doing outstanding work each and every day -- Nancy Sutley. Where is she? (Applause.) Nancy is a little vertically challenged, but I see her over there. (Laughter.)

We've got here a trailblazer for federal appointees -- we are so proud of her -- Ms. Roberta Achtenberg is here. Give Roberta a big round of applause. (Applause.) And then I understand we've got a terrific country singer -- Chely Wright is in the house. (Applause.)

In addition -- I know they had to leave because they had votes, but you guys obviously don't have just fiercer warriors on your behalf than a couple of our openly gay and lesbian members of Congress -- Tammy Baldwin and Jared Polis. (Applause.) They are openly terrific. (Laughter.) They do great work.

And it is also great to have so many activists and organizers from around the country -- folks who fight every day for the rights of parents and children and partners and citizens to be treated equally under the law. And so we are very proud of all of you. (Applause.)

Oh, and by the way, the guy standing next to me -- this is Joe Biden. (Applause.) Just because he’s a Phillies fan -- he’s from Delaware. (Laughter.)

Now, look, the fact that we’ve got activists here is important because it’s a reminder that change never comes -- or at least never begins in Washington. It begins with acts of compassion -– and sometimes defiance -– across America. It begins when ordinary people –- out of love for a mother or a father, son or daughter, or husband or wife -– speak out against injustices that have been accepted for too long. And it begins when these impositions of conscience start opening hearts that had been closed, and when we finally see each other’s humanity, whatever our differences.

Now, this struggle is as old as America itself. It’s never been easy. But standing here, I am hopeful. One year ago, in this room, we marked the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall protests. (Applause.) Some of you were here, and you may remember that I pledged then that even at a time when we faced enormous challenges both on the economy and in our foreign policy, that we would not put aside matters of basic equality. And we haven’t.

We’ve got a lot of hard work that we still have to do, but we can already point to extraordinary progress that we’ve made over the past year on behalf of Americans who are gay and lesbian, bisexual and transgender.

Just stay with me here for a second. Last year, I met with Judy Shepard, Matthew Shepard’s mom, and I promised her that after a decade’s-long struggle, we would pass inclusive hate crimes legislation. I promised that in the name of her son we would ensure that the full might of the law is brought down on those who would attack somebody just because they are gay. And less than six months later, with Judy by my side, we marked the enactment of the Matthew Shepard Act. It’s now the law of the land. (Applause.)

Just a few moments ago, I met with Janice Langbehn and her children. Where did Janice go? There they are right there. And when Janice’s partner of 18 years, Lisa, suddenly collapsed because of an aneurysm, Janice and the couple’s three kids were denied the chance to comfort their partner and their mom -- barred from Lisa’s bedside. It was wrong. It was cruel. And in part because of their story, I instructed my Secretary of Health and Human Services, Kathleen Sebelius, to make sure that any hospital that’s participating in Medicare or Medicaid -– that means most hospitals -- (laughter) -- allow gay and lesbian partners the same privileges and visitation rights as straight partners. (Applause.)

After I issued that memorandum, I called Janice and I told her the news. And before we came out here today, I wanted to make sure that I had followed up -- Secretary Sebelius will officially be proposing this regulation. And I can also announce that the Secretary has sent a letter today asking these hospitals to adopt these changes now -– even before the rule takes effect. (Applause.) Nothing can undo the hurt that her -- that Janice’s family has experienced. And nothing can undo the pain felt by countless others who’ve been through a similar ordeal –- for example, Charlene Strong is here. She lost her wife, Kate Fleming -- and Charlene is here along with Kate’s mom, who said on behalf of all mothers, thank you. Because we think it’s the right thing to do. (Applause.)

In addition, I’ve issued an executive order[SIC]* to extend as many partnership benefits to gay and lesbian federal employees as possible under current law. And I’m going to continue to fight to change the law: to guarantee gay federal employees the exact same benefits as straight employees -– including access to health insurance and retirement plans. (Applause.) And in an announcement today, the Department of Labor made clear that under the Family and Medical Leave Act, same-sex couples –- as well as others raising children -– are to be treated like the caretakers that they are. (Applause.)

Because I believe in committed -- I believe that committed gay and lesbian couples deserve the same rights and responsibilities afforded to any married couple in this country, I have called for Congress to repeal the so-called Defense of Marriage Act. (Applause.) We are pushing hard to pass an inclusive employee non-discrimination bill. (Applause.) No one in America should be fired because they’re gay. It’s not right, it’s not who we are as Americans, and we are going to put a stop to it.

And finally, we’re going to end “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. (Applause.) That is a promise I made as a candidate. It is a promise that I reiterated as President. It’s one that this administration is going to keep. Now, the only way to lock this in -– the only way to get the votes in Congress to roll back this policy -- is if we work with the Pentagon, who are in the midst of two wars.

And that’s why we were gratified to see, for the first time ever, the Secretary of Defense, Bob Gates, testify in favor of repeal. And the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Mike Mullen, has repeatedly and passionately argued for allowing gay men and women to serve honestly in the military. (Applause.) We know that forcing gay and lesbian soldiers to live a lie or to leave the military, that doesn’t contribute to our security -- it harms our security.

And thanks to Patrick Murphy and others, for the first time in history, the House has passed a repeal that would allow gay men and women to openly serve in our armed forces. And this repeal is authored so that the Pentagon can complete its review of the policy -- which is critical, by the way, not only to passage, but it’s also critical to making sure that the change is accepted and implemented effectively. In the Senate, the Armed Services Committee has approved repeal for the first time, and the full body is poised to vote soon.

So here’s the bottom line: We have never been closer to ending this discriminatory policy. And I’m going to keep on fighting until that bill is on my desk and I can sign it. (Applause.)

Of course, ultimately, change is about more than just policies in our government. And that’s why I want to close by recognizing all the young people who are here -– I had a chance to take a bunch of pictures with them, just really impressive folks who are advocating on their behalf. I know there are some in the audience who have experienced pain in their lives, who at times have been -- felt like outcasts, who have been scorned or bullied, and I know that there are families here on behalf of loved ones who are no longer with us, some in part because of the particularly difficult challenges that gay men and women still face.

This is a reminder that we all have an obligation to ensure that no young person is ever made to feel worthless or alone -- ever. Now, at the same time, I think there’s plenty of reason to have some hope for many of the young people including those who are here today. They’ve shown incredible courage and incredible integrity -- standing up for who they are. They’ve refused to be anything less than themselves.

And we all remember being young -- sort of. (Laughter.) But it’s not easy. It’s not easy standing up all the time and being who you are. But they're showing us the way forward. These young people are helping to build a more perfect union, a nation where all of us are equal; each of us is free to pursue our own versions of happiness.

And I believe because of them that the future is bright. It’s certainly bright for them. Of course, it does depend on all of us. It depends on the efforts of government and the activism of ordinary citizens like yourselves. It depends on the love of families and the support of communities. And I want you all to know that as this work continues, I’m going to be standing shoulder-to-shoulder with you, fighting by your side every step of the way. (Applause.)

So, thank you. God bless you. God bless the United States of America. (Applause.)

UNCW Pride Shouts Out to ENC

Check out UNCW's PRIDEBlog. They're doing 30 days of Pride, listing things to be proud of, and take a look at:

12. That We've Got Equality NC

Thanks, UNCW Pride, and right back at you!

"PRIDE is a UNCW student organization dedicated to the recognition of students, faculty, and staff who have individual and unique personalities and would like to discuss current social issues. We primarily deal with issues concerning lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer and allied (LGBTIQA) communities."

Got Milk? Also SUCCESS from Mon!

This Saturday, May 22, is a day of note for all LGBT and allied folks.

This is Harvey Milk's birthday, and a state government (California) has made it a holiday.

Public schools throughout California will be encouraged to conduct lessons “remembering the life of Harvey Milk, recognizing his accomplishments and familiarizing pupils with contributions he made.” Harvey is only the second Californian to receive this honor. (Conservationist John Muir was the first, and he's since got his picture on the CA quarter.)

The historical contributions of gay folks are often omitted from education. Silence and shame have prevented or obscured the LGBT identity of many historical figures.

Harvey Milk, whose motto was “come out, come out, wherever you are” (along with "I'm here to recruit you!"), is quite appropriate as the first LGBT figure to be officially recognized with a day of significance for championing gay rights.

Seeing a gay person celebrated should provide a boost to all of us, and for LGBT folks considering suicide, it may even provide a lifeline. Visiblity is critical for showing that LGBT issues are simply human issues.

==========
UPDATE: If you took action on Monday's blog, be proud! It worked! We won! The Department of Energy released the following statement:

"Some of Professor Katz's controversial writings have become a distraction from the critical work of addressing the oil spill. Professor Katz will no longer be involved in the Department's efforts."

Thank you for helping us make this happen. It's easy to feel like online activism doesn't make a difference, and here is literal evidence that it, in fact, really does!

One Bad Mother (Hush Your Mouth!)

Yesterday was Mother's Day.

In the LGBT community, this day - along with its twin, Father's Day - has special significance. This day marks a point of special remembrance for those of us with positive, supportive parents, and it's a sad spot of bittersweet for folks whose parents did not embrace their LGBT kid.

For gay parents, it's a point of pride: "We're parents!" It's also almost always a source of initial consternation for parents and teachers. If both parents are guys, does one take Mother's Day and one take Father's Day? What do teachers have kids do for a Mother's Day craft if there's no mother in the picture? What about trans parents?

Fortunately, ultimately, issues of sex and gender aren't generally that troublesome for LGBT folks. I have gay dad friends who have one partner take Mother's Day and one take Father's Day. I also know couples where both lesbian parents take Mother's Day - it's two-times the work for the kid, but then they get to skip Father's Day. And my trans parental friends get the day of their target sex.

As for schools, teachers have been handling issues like this forever, what with the supply of single and adoptive parents. On Mother's Day if there are only dads in the parental picture, generally the teachers have the kid do a craft for a special aunt, or grandmother, or even for their dad(s). The point is to honor a special person (or people). There's no need to get bogged down in the details. The goal is familial joy, not stress (though most happy families get to have both!).

(The Washington Post has a blog article on this very topic. Also, The Guardian across the pond has an article on how more gay people are becoming parents and how that's affecting gay spending (or as they call it, "the pink pound").)

(For the record, Kid/we took Craig's Mom (Grams) out to see a show (Charlotte's Web, which Craig is music directing at a local community theater) and then we all did Chinese afterwards. There were also flowers and chocolate-covered strawberries for Craig's Mom earlier in the week. Craig's Mom is the only matron left for us, so she reaps the full M-Day bounty!)

For the first time in history, we've had a president include gay parents in a Mother's Day proclamation. President Obama, in yesterday's proclamation, said:

“Whether adoptive, biological, or foster, mothers share an unbreakable bond with their children, and Americans of all ages and backgrounds owe them an immeasurable debt. Nurturing families come in many forms, and children may be raised by two parents, a single mother, two mothers, a step-mom, a grandmother, or a guardian.”

(The bold is mine to highlight the "two mothers" bit.)

It's just a symbolic reference, but symbols do count.

I have a coworker who is fond of saying "Enjoy your crumbs!" whenever someone in authority makes an LGBT-positive reference but doesn't back it up with any quantifiable action for equality. It's a completely valid point, and the president's Mother Day's proclamation received quite a lukewarm reception from many gay groups, specifically for being empty words in light of lack of action on supporting ENDA and not working against DADT and DOMA. (The LGBT community seems to live a life of acronyms!)

Now, I have more faith in crumbs. People remember words, and the more our families are put out there in front of the public, the more people will realize the terrible effects of discrimination, both individual and abstract and discrete and formalized (as in laws). It's a drop in the ocean, but the ocean would be one drop less if it weren't there.

It's a symbol, sure, but compare it to what's been there before - or hasn't. It's absence would've sent quite a different message. Sometimes a symbol can be both the message and the substance.

We hope everyone had a happy Mother's Day!

Act Locally, Make Change Globally for Binational Partners

The recent news about hospital visitation - how the policy that we, Equality NC, pushed for and got passed here in North Carolina had been picked up and cited in a presidential memo directing that this policy be adopted at the federal level - shows exactly how changes made at the local level can ripple out and have a much broader, perhaps even national or global, effect.

(If you missed the hospital visitation news, find out more about it in the Washington Post, the New York Times, The News & Observer, or News Channel 14.)

In recent weeks, several local governments have endorsed a critical piece of legislation for immigrant families. City councils across the country have passed resolutions supporting the national Uniting American Families Act (UAFA), which would end discrimination against LGBT binational couples. A dozen cities have now endorsed UAFA and called on Congress to support it.

In some ways the move is mainly symbolic, but it also build supports for ending discriminatory immigration laws that keep LGBT couples apart.

Some examples include:

• Binghamton, NY
• Cambridge, MA
• Chicago, IL
• Ferndale, MI
• Los Angeles, CA
• Miami Beach, FL
• Minneapolis, MN
• New York City
• St. Louis, MO
• San Francisco, CA
• Seattle, WA
• West Hollywood, CA

These resolutions have occurred because of increased grassroots support of UAFA. Local groups have enlisted local voices to testify in support of the resolutions and tell their own stories of discrimination as part of a binational family.

These local events lay the groundwork for advancing the issue in Congress. Personal tales touch hearts and create change.

Here's a letter a friend of mine in Durham wrote to his local city council about his Canadian partner, who is being forced to leave the country for a year:

==========
Greetings [COUNCILPERSON'S NAME],

I've been impressed with the work you have done on the City Council, and I wanted to check with you to see if Durham could be among the progressive cities that are passing resolutions to support the Uniting American Families Act.

You see, I am the US citizen in a bi-national, same-sex couple. My partner and I have managed to legally remain together for over ten years. He's never been an illegal alien, always being here on an appropriate visa. Currently, he is on an H 1B visa and working as a math and science teacher at [SCHOOL].

Unfortunately, his current visa expires in August ... and in order to get another one, he must leave the US for one full year. [SCHOOL] loves him, but they can't afford to keep his position vacant for a year. At this point, we can only hope that they will have an opening for the 2011 school year and will be willing to sponsor him again for a visa.

If we were a heterosexual couple, we could have gotten married long ago. In fact, I could have sponsored him for a Green Card, and by now, he could have already become a US citizen himself. But we're not.

It's devastating to find that my spouse of ten years will have to leave the home we've created because our government doesn't value our relationship. I've been a good citizen all of my 49 years, paid my taxes, contributed to charities, been a part of my community, and yet, I feel that I'm only granted partial rights.

Of course, same-sex marriage would help provide equity, but let's face it, gay marriage is still a little far away. I believe it will happen, but not soon enough. In the meantime, the Uniting American Families Act is before the House and Senate. This bill would change US immigration rules to join the 19 or 20 other, more progressive, countries of the world who already allow their citizens to sponsor their unmarried, same-sex partners for immigration.

If Durham has not joined cities like Miami Beach, St. Louis, and Seattle in passing a resolution of support for this bill, would you be willing to introduce such a resolution?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards,

[WRITER'S NAME]
==========

This is a very real issue for them. These are their lives.

Have you contacted your local city council about this?

Never underestimate the effect a local, personal appeal may have on the larger issue. I know several LGBT couples who are binational. And every smaller step toward equality we take puts us closer to full equality.

For more information on immigration reform for LGBT folks, go to Immigration Equality and Out4Immigration.

Shhhh! Day of Silence This Friday,. 4/16/2010

This Friday, April 16, 2010, we encourage you to stay silent ... as well as break the silence.

Founded in 1996 by students at the University of Virginia, and currently officially sponsored in K-12 schools by GLSEN, the Day of Silence is the largest student-led action to protest the bullying and harassment of LGBT people and their allies.

Participants take a day-long vow of silence and distribute or wear speaking cards with information about anti-LGBT bias and ways for students and others to “end the silence.”

Through "Breaking the Silence events," which are typically held at the end of the school day, students can speak out against harassment and demand change for their schools and communities.

The Day of Silence can be used as a tool to affect positive change, both individually and community-wide. The Day of Silence is designed to draw attention to the bullying and harassment faced by LGBT students everywhere.

Silence is used as a tactic to provide a space for personal reflections about the consequences of being silent and silenced. The Day of Silence is an effort that can raise awareness on this issue, prompting people to talk and think about it.

People are encouraged to participate in the way that they are most comfortable with. Some will be silent all day long. Others will hold a silent lunch. Still others will be vocal supporters. The key is that you call attention to the silencing effect of anti-LGBT bullying and harassment.

During the Day of Silence many will be communicating online to show their support of the Day of Silence. It’s definitely okay to use Facebook, Twitter, texting, and other forms of online communication during the Day of Silence, especially if you're spreading the word about the Day of Silence. GLSEN will be tweeting all Day of silence long.

Keep On (Egg)Rolling! A Photo Blog

Craig, Kid, and I got to go to the White House egg roll this past Monday. We got tickets as part of an outreach effort to LGBT families and families in the South to ensure that a diversity of Americans was represented. (Thanks to the Equality Federation and Brian Bond, White House LGBT Liaison, for coordinating that.)

First thing in the morning, we went to the White House Conference Center on Jackson Street to pick up tickets.


In the Jackson Conference room ...


... a group of staffers checked us in.


One of them had even drawn a cute welcome sign by hand!


Then we got our much-coveted golden tickets.


We got the 1:45 time slot, so shortly before 1 pm we dutifully approached the White House.


We found the entrance - to the pre-line LEADING UP TO the actual line.


There were people ...


... more people, ...


... and yet more people!


Did I mention the people?


It was hot and tiring waiting in the long pre-line, but it began to move after half an hour, and then we flew through it. They were efficient once things got going! We went through a security checkpoint (where we were metal detected and had all of our pocket belongings and cameras carefully inspected), and then we got on the Ellipse.


We were given free snacks and drinks here - no food or beverages are allowed on the actual White House lawn. This was a good move, since everyone, kids and parents included, were all grumpy and thirsty. While we waited here, there were entertainers on a stage who sang songs and encouraged the crowd to do a variety of activities to get us moving in fun ways.

My family laid on the grass and waited. We did some rock-paper-scissors and talked about the stuff we expected to see.

After another 15 or 20 minutes, we got in the actual line to the White House lawn.


It was a bit of a process getting thousands of people to assemble into coherent single-ish file. Parents and kids held hands or walked hand-on-shoulder in order to stay together. People actually formed multiple lines that converged into one.




Finally we made it through the gates onto the White House lawn. Here's Kid (my kid, Isaiah, lower right) in front of a fountain.


The lawn was set-up like a mini-festival, with multiple activities and events for kids. Here's Kid running an obstacle course. (Did I mention it was bright and sunny?)


The event was well-staffed, with dozens of volunteers around at all times, wearing pastel hats and green aprons with a bunny on the front. You can see a couple in this picture, which also has a fountain in it. And, oh yeah, the White House (which seemed surprisingly small in real-life).


There was a small stage set up for dancing-related activities, like hula-hooping to songs.


Kid got to enter a small fenced area and watch Disney's Zack and Cody read him a story.


Parents got to stand outside of a small fenced area and watch their kids watch Disney's Zack and Cody read them a story.


There was a stage set up for performers. Unfortunately, we missed the cast of 'Glee' (which Craig loves) and instead got to be entertained by the screechy pop-styling of teen-singer Justin Beiber. (I don't know anything about him. Props to him for not lip-syncing, but there is something to be said for production values in music! Thankfully Kid didn't care for him. Now if Miley Cyrus had been there ....)

It was the height of the Cherry Blossom Festival in DC, and many trees were blooming beautifully. (Kid is running a football practice course in front of this one.)


The entire Mall area is amazing, with multiple memorials and sights being visible from any given area. Here's a photo from the White House lawn with the Washington monument.


There was an actual egg roll, where kids tried to race eggs down lanes using large plastic kitchen spoons. (Kid is in the center in blue.) It was all equanimitous and in fun, so there were no formal winners or losers.


After an hour-and-a-half, we were done. We headed for the exit.


We never got to see any of the First Family (the President was throwing a baseball at the Nationals, but I'm not sure where the First Lady or First Daughters were), but we did get a souvenir egg with Barack and Michelle's signature on it, as well as a pack of yellow Peeps (tm).

Oh, and did I mention the gay people. We were there! There was at least one other LGBT family from North Carolina there, and I saw two lesbian couples with kids. Also, at least two of the White House staff there were gay, one chef and one security guard. (There was one guard on the roof of the White House who I certainly wished were gay! He was camera-shy unfortunately.)

My favorite, however, was a group of high school kids from a gay-straight alliance (can't ... remember ... name of school). There were bunches of them, and they had these awesome shirts:


This is the world we're working for, one where all types of families can come together at a common event, and HAVE NO ONE CARE. Oh, and having equal rights for all of those families, too.

Events like this are a step forward towards that day of true equality. It was an amazing experience, and it'll be something Kid will remember - the first time he went to the White House.